WORDS OF WISDOM
HOW CAN YOU LIVE WITHOUT KNOWING THESE THINGS?
Many years ago, in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was Ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"....and thus the word GOLF. Entered into the English language.
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The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
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Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.
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Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
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Coca-Cola was originally green.
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It is impossible to lick your elbow.
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The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska.
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The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%
The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%.
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The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400.
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The average number of people over the US at any given hour: 61,000.
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Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
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The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.
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The youngest pope was 11 years old.
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The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
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The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
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Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades - King David.
Hearts - Charlemagne.
Clubs - Alexander, the Great.
Diamonds - Julius Caesar.
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111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
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If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.
If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.
If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
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Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
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Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace.
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Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?
A. Obsession.
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Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand.
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Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.
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Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?
A. Father's Day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on.
Hence the phrase......... “goodnight, sleep tight."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink.
Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month... which we know today as the honeymoon.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts.. So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down". It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed
a refill, they used the whistle to get some service.
"Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.
~~~~~~~~~~~AND
FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~
At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Coca-Cola was originally green.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It is impossible to lick your elbow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%
The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The average number of people over the US at any given hour: 61,000.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The youngest pope was 11 years old.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades - King David.
Hearts - Charlemagne.
Clubs - Alexander, the Great.
Diamonds - Julius Caesar.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.
If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.
If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?
A. Obsession.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?
A. Father's Day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on.
Hence the phrase......... “goodnight, sleep tight."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink.
Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month... which we know today as the honeymoon.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts.. So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down". It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed
a refill, they used the whistle to get some service.
"Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.
~~~~~~~~~~~AND
FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~
At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without
surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than
yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let not this blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are
born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy
confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams; it is still a beautiful world. Be
cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than
yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let not this blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are
born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy
confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams; it is still a beautiful world. Be
cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: "no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall".
(Eleanor Roosevelt)
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending and having the two as close together as possible.
(George Burns)
Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
(Victor Borge)
My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.
(Les Dawson)
By all means marry: If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
(Socrates)
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
(Groucho Marx)
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
(Charlotte Whitton)
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech - every now and then she stops to breathe.
(Jimmy Durante)
The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things.
(Jilly Cooper)
I never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
(Zsa Zsa Gabor)
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: Alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
(Alex Levine)
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
(Mark Twain)
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
(Ed Furgol)
What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
(Henny Youngman)
I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.
(George Burns)
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.
(Herbert Henry Asquith)
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
(Lucille Ball)
I don't feel old - I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
(Bob Hope)
A woman drove me to drink - and I hadn't even the courtesy to thank her.
(W.C. Fields)
Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him " Be fruitful and multiply". But not in those words . . .
(Woody Allen)
(Eleanor Roosevelt)
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending and having the two as close together as possible.
(George Burns)
Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.
(Victor Borge)
My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.
(Les Dawson)
By all means marry: If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
(Socrates)
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
(Groucho Marx)
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
(Charlotte Whitton)
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech - every now and then she stops to breathe.
(Jimmy Durante)
The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things.
(Jilly Cooper)
I never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
(Zsa Zsa Gabor)
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: Alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
(Alex Levine)
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
(Mark Twain)
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
(Ed Furgol)
What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
(Henny Youngman)
I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.
(George Burns)
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.
(Herbert Henry Asquith)
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
(Lucille Ball)
I don't feel old - I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
(Bob Hope)
A woman drove me to drink - and I hadn't even the courtesy to thank her.
(W.C. Fields)
Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him " Be fruitful and multiply". But not in those words . . .
(Woody Allen)
The Plan
'I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace.
So, here's one plan from the US currently going around.'
1) 'The US, UK , CANADA and AUSTRALIA will apologize to the world for our 'interference' in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those 'good 'ole' boys', we will never 'interfere' again.
2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea, the Middle East, and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through
holes in the fence.
3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the
remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are from. They're illegal!!! France will welcome them.
4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.
5) No foreign 'students' over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a 'D' and
it's back home baby.
6) The US, UK, CANADA and AUSTRALIA will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing non-polluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while
7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)
8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not 'interfere.' They can pray to Allah or whoever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.
9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here.
Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.
10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us 'Ugly Americans' any longer. The Language we speak is ENGLISH..learn it...or LEAVE...
Now, isn't that a winner of a plan?
So, here's one plan from the US currently going around.'
1) 'The US, UK , CANADA and AUSTRALIA will apologize to the world for our 'interference' in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those 'good 'ole' boys', we will never 'interfere' again.
2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea, the Middle East, and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through
holes in the fence.
3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the
remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are from. They're illegal!!! France will welcome them.
4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.
5) No foreign 'students' over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a 'D' and
it's back home baby.
6) The US, UK, CANADA and AUSTRALIA will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing non-polluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while
7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)
8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not 'interfere.' They can pray to Allah or whoever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.
9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here.
Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.
10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us 'Ugly Americans' any longer. The Language we speak is ENGLISH..learn it...or LEAVE...
Now, isn't that a winner of a plan?